Remission

When I was 8 years old, I got cancer. Well, leukemia, to be precise. When I got diagnosed, I thought it would be the worst day of my life. But then came my first day of chemotherapy. I was super scared and not ready at all. This little kid next to me said it was going to be ok and explained to me what was about to happen. His name was Evan, and he had leukemia too.

He quickly became my best friend. Later, when we were leaving, we found out that we lived 10 minutes away from each other, and from that day on we were inseparable. If he wasn’t at my house, I was at his. Every weekend was spent together, every birthday, every celebration. We both ended up going into remission at the same time and had the biggest party ever.

I then found out I was moving again. We were both sad, but we knew we could talk to each other whenever we wanted and that we would see each other again. I moved a lot, but I Skyped him every weekend and chatted with him every day. Every time I had a problem he was the first to know.

A year ago, he told me that they had found cancer in him again. I know how awful the process is, so I was there for him every time he went in for treatment. He always got his chemo early in the morning or late at night so I could Skype with him during it. We went through it all again together.

But then, about two months ago, he started getting worse. Soon, he couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk well, and barely contacted me. I was so worried and I couldn’t focus on anything besides him.

A month passed by with no improvement. I was so worried I could hardly eat or sleep. Then, I really experienced the worst day of my life.

May 6th, 2017.

He died.

My life came to a standstill. I couldn’t do anything but cry the whole weekend. That whole week I was depressed and no one knew what was going on. I blamed it on AP week and didn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t tell anyone. I spent the next three weeks putting on a mask when, in reality, I was just sitting and crying at home.

It’s been a month now and life is so hard. I’m graduating in a week and I don’t know how I’ll make it through the night without tears, missing him. I honestly don’t know how my life is going to go on because he was such a big part of it for so long.

I’m working through it with the help of my friends and classmates I told, so it’s getting better, but it still hurts like hell. We’ll see how it goes.

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