Shithead

This is the story of when I got cheated on by my first boyfriend. We had a lot of mutual friends and started talking and getting close the summer before my junior year. He was in the grade below me and had a bit of a bad reputation: hanging out with shady people and doing shady shit, but I didn’t really care (red flag!!!). When we came back from summer vacation, I was super into him so when he asked me out in August, I obviously said yes. We started dating and it was really fun, we were really similar and had the same sense of humor. However, when he went out, he’d be indisposable all night and would never text me to let me know where he was, who he was with, or what he was doing. I would always find out stuff about him from my other friends: him doing drugs or just getting fucked up and going crazy. I would always get seriously mad when he did those type of things, but I didn’t know how to tell him. Every time I brought up my concerns he would make me feel like I was crazy. He would also show up late, cancel on me, and gave me my birthday present three weeks late. But for some reason I didn’t care and just let him treat me like shit.

One week I heard that his ex was back in town and that they hung out. I was livid. I confronted him and asked about it but he just nonchalantly replied that they did. He told me that they just hung out “as friends.” I told him it was ok but that we needed to communicate better. My friends told me that this kind of behavior wasn’t normal and that I needed to drop him. Instead of just dumping him, I decided we should take a break.

Later that week, he asked to meet up and I was sure he was going to apologize and things would go back to the way they were. He broke up with me. He said he still wanted to be with me but couldn’t because of schoolwork. I was devastated and cried about it for so long. My friends and I decided to go into town and get drunk that night and, unfortunately, he was there. I tried not to pay attention to him and to just talk to my friends. But, as I was walking somewhere, I ran into him with a random girl – her arms were around him and his were around her waist. I began sobbing uncontrollably, and my friends asked my ex what the fuck he was doing and the girl replied, “what?? This is my BEST FRIEND.” Like really? If you’re his “best friend” how come I’ve never seen or heard of you before? It only gets worse from here.

The next morning I sent him a message about how disgusting it was for him to do that. He didn’t even reply. That night I decided to get drunk with my friends again and he called me. He said he wanted to talk and I was still hoping that he wanted to get back together. I honestly don’t know why, he’s such a piece of shit. That night I went to go see him, and we were both crying because he said he still wanted to be with me. He seemed genuine and I was just so devastated that I would’ve given anything to get back together (pathetic, I know). We decided to remain friends and continue to talk. The next week at school, two of my best friends sat me down and told me that he had actually cheated on me when he hung out with his ex a few weeks prior. I broke down crying and was crushed. Apparently word was going around since the girl he cheated on me with told some people, and it seemed like I was the last to know. He was on a school trip so I couldn’t confront him about it in person, but I texted him and he denied the whole thing. Didn’t even have the decency to own up to it. I blocked him on everything and he continued to harass me even months after we’d broken up.

After all of this had happened, I was in the gym with a friend and he was there with his friends too. Randomly, his friends just started yelling things at me across the gym and it was really uncomfortable.

Another time, I was crossing the street and he driving by in a cab and stopped it to tap on the window and yell something at me.

I got onto the bus on a different occasion and he was there with a friend. They were laughing at me and his friend took a video of it for his snapchat story.

These things happened four months after we broke up, even after I repeatedly told him to leave me alone. If I gained anything from dating this shithead, it’s to not ignore the red flags. If a guy is treating you like shit from the start just get the hell out, you deserve better.

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